Curiously

Hi :D


Seriously im so tired to post everythings today but i think i have to post to.Ow let me think what happened to me today eh ? I think i have something to share.Cant believe that i'd missed a movie that im used to wait for a long time to watch-Dracula .What is this ! How can .But i have another chance because i know this TV station will repeat the same movie again and again.Well,do you know that im going bed early recently ? Last night ,i slept at 1:30 a.m and it's too early for me because im always going bed at 3 or 4 o'clock!Why so dramatic ? I hope i will get off to sleep earlier than last night ,today .But the sadness part is,wether im going bed early or late,im still waking up at 11 .Huh dissapointed.


As usual today's Merlin is about Morgause who's Lady Morgana's step-sister ahd unfortunately she's a witch.Same as Morgana but Uther didnt know about Morgana's power and magic actually.Morgause tried to destroy Camelot by trapping Arthur Pendragon with his mother's name-Ygraine.Morgause used magic to create an illusion and that's the way that Arthur can believe that he'd met his mother.Ygraine's illusion said that Uther had betrayed her as he used her to get the heirs of Pendragon's dynasty.He'd used magic that make Arthur born,but in this situation he had to sacrifice his wife-Ygraine .She died.But actually it's Morgause words and she's a liar.Arthur tried to kill his own father but Merlin came right on time and explained to him what had happened.In this case,Merlin got many praises from Arthur,Uther and Gaius.He's very proud because before this,he never got any good words on what he had sacrificed.Hahaha cute Merlin he had a gorgeous smile and also anime eyes.Arthur always be a charming crown prince :D .


Today im going out with my brother and his wife,my mother also my twin.We were going to expo.And just walking ,because there's nothing to buy.We only bought some food and drinks then took a place and enjoyed the scenery .Yeah it's undenied that looking at the beautiful creatures make me peace and im so happy .The wind make me wanna fly and it have a spark .It's wonderful to see children playing suppa duppa and i want to join them too but unfortunately i am 15 and im scared if i join them,The suppa duppa will destroyed or fall because im so heavy and my weight gaining again and again.It's quite a long time im not use the time correctly to exercise and eating a healthy food.Im just not even bother about my weight anymore but trust me i will care if im getting look like a donut.Walking around make me so tired and sleepy.Well,nevermind.Oh yes im just met Zafira and Siti.Zafira always with her books and Siti seems very excited to meet me.Am i looked different or she eventualally miss me a lot ?Hahah  whatever,i miss my frinds too so much especially syafika .It's weird ehen we cant fight and start singing 90s songs and i miss her so badly . 


Sometimes , I have this feeling-feeling that is it my sister always busy body about me ? She always had a contact with those my Exs.If i do the same,maybe she will declare me anythings.I think so.She used sweet mords with my ex and actually i dont mind because im not used to care.But how can she be like what is it she not feel embrassing ?Tough i am not with him any more but shows some respect.That day when that shit sent that he loves me and she knew about it,she's upset.And why she being like that,before that guy be her bf,Im the one who had be his ex first.And i have not to feel jealous or waht when i knew that He wants her.I dont know why .Im just wondering and curious exactly.Ans she scolded me as im asking about that and im feelin like shits.Now go and hijacks all the boys that i had met.You are the one who always busy body and hijacks other people happiness seriously.And what the most weird part is,when you want me,you just keep asking me wether im like u or not and no need to her about me.She know nothing ok.I hate this if you keep asking her,why not you just pick her and ignore me .Im dissapointed .


Ok i have to end my words im too tired and i need to sleep.Goodbye .

                           Ummmps..

Happy ! :D

Hi everybody :D


It's already 10:49 p.m and im just begin to frame my memories today ,but i think it's not too late unless it's already 11:59p.m,right ?Huh im so tired today because im using 12 hours my leisure time at home and another 12 is outing.It's fun because it's qute a long time im not spend my time with my family.But the members aren't enough because my second brothe is not here.He still in Pulau -working so hardly i think .Poor him XD .Oh yeah before i forget i just want to express my feeling-how glad i am to know that Faizul is the winner for AF13.I just tought before .But sadly,Aisyah got the last place :'(.How can,Nabila is the one who deserves that place better than her.But let by gone be by gone .


As usual im not miss Merlin today and today's episode is spectacular because i just want to cry as im finished watching.Let have a discussion.*Uther are not supposely punished other people without any proofs even he's a king of a great kingdom.How can he's not believe his own friend that have sacrificed everythings for him and always be by his side.He rather believe the new friend-Aredian;a wizard finder that in a sudden declaring Gaius as a wizard and the only proof is a miracle bracelet that the reality he is the one who puts the bracelet in Gaius' chamber.It's such a lucky to Gaius for having Merlin as his foster child and he's the one who tried to prove that Gaius is not guilty even he himself is a wizard.And he success,.The most dramatic part is when Uther trying to seek apologize fromGaius and Gaius looked sulking with his emotion.The way Uther said'Im sorry Gaius for Aredian's attitude''.Gaius:You dont have to involve Aredian's name because u,Uther did wrong.You punished me and Aredian only obeyed your words.You is the one who always thought taht a wizard is only among the servants.''.See how Gaius sulking with his friend and the worst part is his friend is a king.If i be in his position,i have no brave to speak like that in front of my king unless he will slap me and i will death hahaha.ok ok enough for merlin.


Today im a bit emotional because as im finished watching 'A christmass kiss'' ,my brother asked me to join him outing and im pleasure to come.I'd spoiled my mood as i was ironing my scarf and i wanted to search a pin and im totally cant find it!TERRIBLE!Everybody keep yelling''Faster!Faster!''.Heyy did you know i was in battlefield right now ??At least ask me why im being late,and asked what im searching for !Huh,at the beginning im refused to join because of that pin and then my mother told me that she had found it and ok i would join .But it took a time to back to my currebt mood .In car,i just keep silencwe and i cant change my emotion and my face always looked like a rubbertapper.But then im back :D 


I returned home at nearly 7 o'clock and suddenly radio's frequency played a nasheed song''Ummi'' but im not too sure about this tittle .And i felt relax and calm down and harmony,peaceful and etc.The part all kids sang''Ummi,ummi,ummi ,ummi'' im dramatically looked outside the window .How cute the Arabian kids with the slang :D I hope and i pray one day i will continue my study In Egypt or Jordan or Jeddah or anywhere in Arabian land.I just want to speak using their language as it will help me to understand Qoran very well.So i will not wondering again .If i had a chance to continue my education there,I feel so grate and there i think i cant stop imaging how our prophets live and started their journey and mission.If i am on that time,i cant imagine how im being with those electronic appliances and also transports.We only have to ride camel or horses.But it seems traditional and i love warriors dinasty:D .


I think i will end my words here because i have no idea.Okay that's all for today and see you tomorrow !! Assalamualikum !! :D


Feeling happy :D

Entertainment =P

Hello guys :)


It's not too late to post in blog for today ,right.Okay i found boring to tell you guys all about life,and today i want to try something new kpopers friends did,but im not going to post about koreas ok.Im not a fan of them.Before that im so excited to wait for Af final tonight-2100.I will support Aisyah and Faizul for the most.


Do you know im woke up very late today ?it's nearly 12 p.m !Im not woke up by myself but my father did wake me up !How bad i am.I attended my father's friend's son wedding in Kota Tinggi and it's awesome! I dont know who'd cooked all those dishes because it's suppa duppa marvellous ! If it's my family wedding,for sure i will eat till i lost breath !Unfortunately,it's not mine.


Oh yea,do you know how long im searching for in trance ?My father saud that it's gorgeous song ever and im so excited but i cant find it till now ! It's only in trance album,-Life like a river urghh.Fine.Last night,i was tiding my twin's hair and i would try something great and tried to make them myself.And i did it although her hair is not too perfect because it's a little bit short and damaged .Then i searched youtube,-how easy and fast they plaiting the hair !They're so talented !


I love Katy perry's songs especially Roar,and the music video too.She look pretty much in that music video and sometimes she looks alike Nur Fathia,Malaysian actress that casted in Diandra.Her eyes specifically the same.Tke a look.I love all Disney actress such as Demi Lovato,Miley Cyrus,Jonas Brothers,Selena Gomez and many others.Their songs are focused on teenagers you know and it's totally cheerful plus romantic and melancholic and all those mixed up together ''BooMMM''.PERFECT.


Im listen to many genre of songs except keroncong,dondang sayang,and reggae.It's trashy okey.I love country the most,pop,rock,rap(a little),and balada.Do you ever listen to The Climb?Yeah i'd put this songs in my blog you just click the button to choose and listen to.It sounds motivated and perfectly described me.Oh im lovin't ! <3.I love Taylor Swift and her songs-Spark fly,Red,We'r never getting back together,I knew you were trouble and many more.The only one that make me shocked about Swift is her childhood !She's not even pretty like she is.She looked fat,with sunburn skinand wore that worst scarf.Oh man.haha.


I nearly forget to tell about a series adventure,fantasy movie-Merlin from BBC.Oh you see how much i love King Arthur Pendragon that played by Bradley James.He is charming,handsome,strong,macho and cute sometimes.I do love him so much an im never miss Merlin even one second you know.Merlin too or Corlin Morgan,even he looked stupid,and always been bullied by his master-Arthur but the reality is he had a biggest power and if he wants,he can make Arthur kneeled in front him.But he's too kind,he's willing to be Artur's loyal servant.Im totally love the friendship that had been showed by Arthur and Merlin.Someway they teach me about how friendships are supposely to be.Im totally love when Merlin start to use abacadabra and his eyes changed colour . Love much :*


Have you ever heard this name-Marilyn Monroe?yeah i'd read all his personal life from her child till she's growing to be the superstar.It's totally sad im feel so empathy.Her real name is Norma Jean and her life is very very very sad to read.On childhood,nobody wants her and she never knew who's her father exactly.Her mother ,Gladys have a mental illnes and she's forced to send her only child to a foster home.Monroe teen's life also make me wanna cry.She always having sexual attacked by hier aunt's son.And forced her to live with her another aunt and from ther her life begin normal.She'd a relay with Jim and married. I cant tell more better you search wikipedia okey.It's too sad.


I'd read a fact guide tweet that always boosting my knowledge.He suggest me to listen to Pandora's song because it's motivated but this is only soundtrack with no lyrics at all.It's the part of opera and opus.I do love the mix from violin,sexephone and the conducter who's conduct the musicians .But i love ''Love soundtrack Arthur&Guinevere in Merlin .It makes me wanna cry .


I love to watch ballerina .Of course a royal ballerina.I wonder how they split their toes ?Isnt hurt ?And it's perfectly looked like the music box-as we opened it and the ballerina dancind gracefully.Woah i do love the music box and i hope i will get it as my birthday's present someday !


It's so sad because i think i'd a big problem with my teeth .It's hurt as im drinking a cold water or ice cream and i think i had sensitive tooth.Ergh.Do you ever seen ?Its looked like the oldies you know !I cant drink cold water anymore and fine.I need to buy sensodyne.Im also have a problem with my hair.It's always falling and im sick and im worried if im being like no hair once day.What should i do.It's totally very long and i love my hair so much.Dont leave me,hair :( .


Ok i think i have to go.And that's all for today,and tomorrow have Merlin .Hurray !And tonigh final AF10.Goodbye love much <3

                              This is Prince Arthur and his servant,Merlin.They'r cute isnt ? <3

     Here is Destiny Hope Ray Cyrus a.k.a Miley Cyrus .Cute ! :D

   This is Norma Jeane Mortenson a.k.a Marilyn Monroe 1962-1926

 Katy Perry on Roar Official Music Video,looked like a Tarzan :0

Demi Lovato oh i love her song-This is me.I love her hair ! <3

Here is Love theme soundtrack from Merlin and i wanna cry =')

GOODBYE :D

                                                                       

Bad Day

Hi :>

  Today im gonna post about my feelings.Everythings that happened today had pushed me down.Im tired of getting pushed as im rising up and struggle to be a better person.Im trying to lower my ego,and try to changed but every problems are being like barriers to me . Huh it's all my fault , how excited i am -posted my website in twitter . I thought that he'll not read it but unfortunately ''blerghh'' .

   
  He read everythings that i'd wrote in blog.Am i being born to hurt others or everybody is like ruining my life ? I need a freedom . My heart belong to anyone indeed .Im just messing up other people's life with my liars.I never love anybody and i dont care if somebody calls me bad ,because i know it's all my life .I know from deep inside i have no love ,im just have ego ,liars ,selfish etc.They should'nt believe me they should leave me alone.

   Im sorry i just wanna explain to you but i cant ,because you just put many hopes to me .And the worst part is,i dont wanna hurt others once again.I dont care if your friend said that he's ok if you with me and he'll be fine.You know what ? I dont trust every words that comes from his mouth ,it's just a liar i know.You know,it's hard for me to make a right decision.Oh , it's okey you never think what had happened to me and what's on your mind is only the decision.You force me and i just have to say ''wait'' in case i dont know what im going to do after.


    You listen to me,how about if i accept you,and your friend is hurted.Do you glad to say''oh you jest ignore him,he doesnt have any feeling towards you anymore''.I dont believe you just trust this words.Do you blinded by something?can you see all those words are just a liar ? Nope i think you cant see it.Okay just in case,im telling you the truth ,maybe you will hurt on the same way .Gosh what should i do ? I need to take care many people heart ,i dont wanna hurt them once again.Understands me please .Im begging you.

   Am i wrong to say my own feelings ?am i wrong to make my own decision? Why im always said ''poor him'' ''poor him''.Im just tired to sacrifice my feelings with the words poor.Now it's my time to sacrifice those poors to my feelings.And i want to feel a freedom .Justice.If today im hurting you ,im sorry .Im doing all this because i dont want you to hurt later .Please i know myself ,im not good as other people and you think.Please dont make me feel guilty .

   I dont want you to unkeep in touch with him because of me .Please i will dissapear from your life and also him.I will not comeback,even if i want to,i will not find the way .I promise .I will never come back.I never allowed you both to see my face ,and i will pray that someday you will forget me .

    
     Im tired.Fight and then being together fight and then being together it's all make me crazy .I deserve to be happy,perhaps this will hurt you but trust me it will benefit you too.


Sincerely ,

S.N.A

All About Me :)

Hello guys ,

harini nak cerita pesepa pulak eh.Random jelah.Alaklumlah duduk kat rumah 24/7 gini memang tade experience yg berlaku lah kan.Kalau pergi sekolah lain cerita,banyaklah moments yang dilalui.Rasanya harini aku nak cerita pasal,apa yang aku suka dan mungkin apa yang aku tak suka .Haha okey first aku suka kalau bab2 sejarah ni,tapi aku tak suka sejarah yang macam dalam buku teks tu.Itu terlampau berfakta.Aku suka yang lebih santai contoh macam sejarah pemerintah Elizabeth The Golden Age,Queen Victoria,King Arthur.Aku rasa aku lebih suka sejarah istana barat yang melibatkan prince,princess haha.Bajet je.Tapi bagi aku unik,dan aku dapat rasa cara hidup diorang masa dulu.


    Ha aku takdelah sampai lupa asal usul bangsa sendiri.Aku suka dengan cerita cerita rakyat melayu.Macam Hang Tuah ke Tun Teja ke.Tapi lebih kepada istana dan golongan bangsawan .Aku teringin nak hidup zaman diorang.Aku tak boleh bayangkan macamna diorang hidup dengan pakai baju kebayanya pergi jalan2,sedagkan kita rg zaman sekarang setakat keluar pergi pantai pun kalau pakai baju kurung tu dah kata panas.Bukan lagi sejuk ke masuk angin?Pastu aku suka lagu Siti Nurhaliza yang macam Cindai,Ya maulai,Nirmala,Walinong sari,and joget pahang.Sebab boleh ingatkan aku tentang ciri bangsa aku sendiri,.

   Aku suka pergi pantai daripada air terjun.Sebab pantai lebih terbuka pastu angin dia yang buat aku tak tahan tu.Kalau air terjun air sejuk gila pastu deras takut hanyut pula.Bila pergi pantai kan,ambik port yang best sikit,duduk pasang lagu jiwang pergh memang berangan lah jawabnye.ahaha in fact,dah setahun lebih tak pergi pantai tapi nanti hujung tahun ni ada hari keluarga kat tanjung resang,so boleh lah !Tapi aku tak suka berkelah,macam bawa makanan dari rumah pastu makan bawah pokok.Serabut je,beli jelah pisang goreng ke ,tak payah susah susah.


   Aku suka tengok cerita kartun even umur aku dah 15(ala lex ah).tapi bukannye kartun bob the builder,ultraman semua tu.Aku suka yang agak berstory-line sikit macam,Up ,Shrek,Caroline,Monsters University.Sebab cerita dia kadang2 boleh sedih haha.Dan nak tahu dalam cerita Up tu memang comel budak lelaki tu.Tapi aku suka jugak movie yang lebih keremajaan seperti High school musical,minutesman,Lizzie Mcguire,Hannah montana.Sebab movies ni semua sesuai dengan naluri aku yang berumur 15 ni ha.Pastu sinetron indon pun aku suka tapi tibe part amnesia,muka sama,tukar anak memang rasa nak termuntah.But,aku tak suka drama or filem melayu sangat,bukan nak bajet tapi memang dah tak suka nak wat mcmane.Tapi aku akan nangis nengok citer hindustan.UUUU Hum nehi pyar kartiho TT.

   
    Okey cakap pasal novel pulak.Aku mula minat baca novel masa darjah 5,tu pun pinjam2 dulu ngan zafira yg memang kaki novel.Ingat lagi first novel yang aku baca tajuk dia Dear Yaya memang aku ingat lagi jalan cerita dia.Pastu aku memang suka novel Detik 12 malam,tapi x jual kat mersing kat JB je belambak .Cedihh.Tapi then masa sekolah menengah masa last year aku start baca novel oamputih pulak.Saja nak improve vocab-memang berkesan gila.Aku first baca novel tajuk dia 'First Time At Malory Towers' .Ni novel bersiri tau,ada lagi Upper Forth At Malory Towers etc,Semua siri dia aku dah baca.Tapi dalam sejarah aku baca satu novel english ni sehari je tajuk dia''will there be a prince''.Best tau cerita pasal orang gemuk yang tade sape suka.Aku pernah baca cerita misteri satu je tajuk''The pictures of Dorian Grey'' dari situ aku tahu makna 'murder' .Nampak tak terimprovenya vocab aku ahai.Ok stop cerita pas novel sejuta tahun x habis.

    Ok kalau barang aku suka orang belikan aku makanan.In fact aku tak suka orang belikan aku jam lah,rantai lei,cincin ke(kecuali masa nak kawin ahhaha).Aku suka yang simple2 je.Makanan yang best maca,coklet,gula-gula,jajan air dutch lady pon aku suka !Biar murah asalkan kenyang.tu je prinsip aku.Kalau birthday aku,aku tak suka orang celebrate yang tahap platinum sangat macam baling telur ,tepung bagai.Ei selekeh tahu tak,itukan makanan ,membazir je baling2 kat orang.Ynag penting aku memang tak suka org celebrate birthday aku kat luar,aku suka kat rumah nagn family je lagi best .Boleh menelah cam hantu raya pon orang tak kisah.

    Aku ak suka hang out.First reason,aku memang malas nak bersiap,aku penat,aku malas pilih baju dan aku memang tak suka .Lagi kalau ayah aku bawa pergi rumah abang aku tiap2 minggu .Nak2 lagi pergi pasang lagu klasik nasional dari pergi sampai balik,nak termuntah aku mendengarnye.loya tahu.Tapi aku tak akan menolak kalu abang aku ajak pergi jalan nagn dia,sebab nanti die belikan apa yang aku nak.Dia suka jak aku pergi cakehouse,shopping n jalan.hahah mase die ade duit je best ahaha.Satu benda yang aku teringin sangatnak pergi adalah Indonesia.Pelik kan,org semua nak pergi Paris etc,tapi aku nak gi indon je.Sebab aku suka diorang punya cakap or budaya nak dekat sama ngan malaysia so aku bleh banding2kan.

   Ckap pasal cuti2 ni,kalau dalam Malaysia aku suka satu tempat ni nama dia Melaka bandar besejarah aha.Aku rasa tak puas hati masa bapak aku ajak gi sana masa umur aku 10 tahun,sebab aku tak dapat tengok barang2 sejarah lama2.Insekio tau insekio!Tempat paling best Muzium Flor De Lamar yang macam replika kapal tuh.Bbest yop sampai perut bawah kapal aku masuk.Tapi moment paling sedih,aku tak pernah pergi Zoo.Hahah lawak je.A ku nak sangat pergi zoo nak tengok harimau,gajah,monyet.Almaklumlah aku ni penah tengok live dalam Animal Planet je.Kasihanilah hamba.Aku penah nengok haiwan secara f2f ni adalah semut,kucing,ayam,anjing,burung,lalat ha ni jelah yg aku selalu namapk.Bayangkan kambing,lembu pun sesah nak tengok.Stress tau Stress ahah!

   Aku rindu masa pergi Penang,dapat makan pasemboq.Sedap gila hingga menjilat kaki.Dia lebih kurang rojak je tapi banyakbarang .emm dah lama tak makan rojak.Tapi yang tak tahan tu masa naik feri.Masa tu aku keluar dari kereta then aku snap pic kat depan kereta aku(kereta aku kereta paling depan sekali)Pastu sedih gila pemandangan dalam feri nampak macam dalam lori sampah.Sebab warna dia dah lah biru pasti ada stripes merah putih,sebijik lori sampah.Then aku segan aku buan aje pic tu.Aku suka masa gi taman rama2,rasa macam princess sebab cantik sanagt rama2 ,taman dia hijau gitu(aku suka hijau2 ni).Hmm bila lah dapat pergi tempat macamni lagi.Makin aku besar,makin titpis harapan nak pergi jalan2 macamni,takpelah nanti aku dah besar dah kerja aku pergi sorang2.Lagi nikmat XD

    Impian aku bila aku dah ada banyak duit nanti aku nak beli rumah ,tapi bukan rumah banglo .Aku nak rumah yang sederhana dan lebih kepada seni reka kemelayuan .Pastu kan aku nak tanam bunga ros putih merah keliling rumah aku.Ha pastu rumput aku kasi hijau muda punya,mesti cantik.Kalau rumah banglo tu nanti lah bila dah kawin ke baru best ada banglo baru gempak .Haha ni desire ni tau !bukan berangan !

   Keluarga aku banayk barang peninggalan.Tapi sebelah bapak aku jelah.Dan harta2 tu pun sikit dah diberi kepada adik beradik aku.Tapi aku paling legend sebab dapat keris nenek aku punya emak punya ayah punya emak atas atas lagi.Hahahah.Tapi keris tu tak boleh buat main2,bapa aku selalu pesan jangan asap2 .Macamlah aku reti haha.Masa nak pindah milik tu pun ada cara tau.Siap ada lafaz dah amcam nak kawin pulak.Pegang pun kene betul mana satu hulu mana satu pangkal.Aku dapat keris tu masa umur 10 tahun.Bapak aku cakap setiap tuan keris tu mesti tahu kepada siap dia nak wariskan(lebih kepada ikut kata hati).Keris tu tak boleh dituankan pada orang laki2,sbb owner sebenarnya seorang perempuan.Kes bapak aku ni,dia cuma perantaraan kerisantara nenek aku dengan aku .Bapa aku bukan memilikpunyakan keris tu pun.Keris tu dah jadi milik aku.HA HA HA.


    Okey aku rasa ni jelah cerita untuk ari ni.Semangat aku menulis blog harini.Entah hape hape .ahahha Okeylah Goodbye !Muahh !

Bad Guy Ever

Assalamualaikum , Hi . :D

        Today im going to talk about ..umps of course things that happened to me . Well, i feel so bored because yeah i have nothing to do as the holidays had begun.My family doesnt have any plans along this term,so im here doing nothing exactly.I really hope syafika,siti and all my classmates are here.But,it's only a miracle hapened.I want to talk about this guy-annoying guy ever.I dont realize how much i hate him bt im not 100% hatred.At least there's still have hope for seeking apologize  from me . Oh if i can mention his name -_-.

     

        I knew him when i was 14 yers old and he's already 17.Basically i knew him from FB.The funniest part is we're going together-having relationship.The most thing that i cant imagine is how stupid i am on that time.He is really annoying,every single day he wants to talk to me-otp.He never cares whether im here busy with my homework,studying or what so on.If i said i have many works to do so he will sulk and im tired of this.Then one day,he makes something that make me embrassed.He updating FB status''It's hard to have an immatured GF''.how dare him make me wearing no face in public.Since that,i never spoke to him for one year and our relationship was ended.Im satisfied with my own decision.

        1 year later,it's this year.We started to have a nice conversation in fb and allright we're start talking as friend .He wants to tackle my twin.Seriously im not really care about this even his is my ex.Because he's not stay in my heart forever .Then after a few weeks he ended the relationship with my twin.And i dont really know why.It doesnt matter indeed.Then , someday he have a conversation with my twin's classmate in FB and she told him a secret that my twin had told her.It's his secret.My twin knew his secret and me too.My twin advised her to not telling him about the secret but she did so because she's having a big war with my twin.It's an awful secret ever.

        After he'd knew that my twin had told othe people about his secret,then he decided to make my twin feel the way he feel before.And the most annoying part is i am the one who'd get involved in his stupid cupid plan.What i'd done to him?What's my wrong ? Firstly,he said that he loves me and he wants to get back.But i aint that stupid to believe and im not trust him even a second.So,i said no.Only then i told him that my twin was read our conversation.Then his reacts like 'Let it be'' .

       Then,after a few hours i see his status'' My heart broke into pieces,i know your reasons bla bla bla'' Then i felt misery.Then im updated my twitt and i said''sorry etc..'' and the final is i twitt  about he has no sense of humanity.I think i am right because he never cares about my twin's feeling and his friend's feeling at all.(His friend has relay with me before).I thought he never on his tweet but he did so.Then he started to twist the basic story.He started update his status''I have intention to do this'' Wth is that.So im getting mad because that status make me feel like''i am the one who's perasan and it's embrassing me indeed!''He makes me feel like 'Aku je perasan,padahal die bukan betul2 pun suka aku'' Mental breakdown!

      And im started getting mad.My fingers cant stop tweeting.I hate him .He never seeking apologize ,he 's only wanna explain the true story(konon)  but the fact is i dont believe all the stories that he'd been explained because it's unlogical!How dare he is.You know what?When im getting burn on the flame ,he adding the oil and make me burn more worsty ! What his untention to tell his friend about what he'd doing to me ?? He wants to tell him that ''hahah aku hebat doh aku berjaya kenekan dia'' like that ?hah ?Your attitude is same fool as your face 

        After im getting slow on this situation,he decided to text me.huh so you think i'd forget about what u'd done huh ?And i will forgive u ?How easy ?Based on your text,i did not find any words that describe apologizing.You only said the words that make me hot .Hey ? do you still awake?i think u;d forget who's make the mistake.So ,here we go.You never had a nice conversation with me until i'd forgive u and of course it will take a long long long time .You hurts me more than i'd told.i hate you .I hate when my twin already forgave you easilybecause she's really stupid.She loves you and i wonder why why why ?You are so annoying,you dont deserve to fall in love you know?

               

    Huh writing about him make me become a monster.I have to end my words .

 

      

Alone :)

I fake smiles,

everyday,

i hate doing so,

but tell me,

what more can i do,

because the pain,

is so unbearable,

I can't cry anymore,

because i think it's useless,

to cry over someone,

who doesnt even care about me,

It's ok,

Im fine,

even if im not,

you cant do nothing about it,

because im fake after all.

_fiyaa_

Im totally agreed with this poem.Thanks to the poet,my lovely friend,Zafira.Im asked her to create this poem for me and here it is-every single words are really thoughtful.I hope and i wish she will be the famous,talented poet someday and even clever than William Shakespeare.She has the talent !*Let's talk about fake smiles.

   Anyone cares about fake smiles? Does anyone ever faced it ?i guess everybody had faced it.I have read so many times about ''The girls who always laughing more than she should be,are the girls who are always burst into tears when lonely''.Yeah,i admit that i am a girl who always laughing for more than 5 minutes and take a few munutes to stop and then start laughing again.You can ask my friends if you dont trust me.Sometimes i laughing at unnecessary things such as clothes and the worst part is i cant stop laughing if someone make a serious face.I will laughing at you when you are reading my post although for you,it's not funny at all.hahah nevermind.But i dont realize every scars or pains or something terrible happened to me.Im just''What happened?I didnt feel any pains?So,how can i be like a pscyhtrist's patience ?Then i take time to think,maybe after PMR is the best time to think about unnecessary things that happened in my life.At the same time,im always spend most of my time at home.Someday,i realize that all this happened is because of loneliness.Yeah 100% agreed.

    I cant blame other people to be the reason why im being lonely.It's all my decisions and this was going to be.Since i'd ended my relationship with him last year,i decide to not going out even a step to meet him.Well,his house are not too far.im always spend my time-sleeping,thinking,eating etc.I dont have friends here.Perhaps my sister is happy to live here because she has many friends but her friends are not good indeed.They all are not studied in our school.They studied in SMKAB .My parents are not allowing us to friend with those people because it might something bad happen,but my sis just ignoring them.Me too-sometimes ahah.I HATE GOING OUT.I HATE HANGing OUT.im so suffociating if someone asks me to join them at park or beach etc.I have no friend and nobody to share the stories .Even i have a lot of good ,pretty,amazing,gorgeous friends but i dont think they will listen or understand what im going to tell about.Because i really know them.I know their way,i know the way they controol the behave but im not sure if they're the right people.Even my twin.Yes,maybe everybody says''She's your twin.She born at he same day,and you share the same birthday with her,she might understands you every single aspects in your life''.No,you are wrong.Even our faces are totally not alike at all,so how you could say my behave is paralleling to her ?Not at all.She's totally not understands me.She alwys think that she's elder than me and im immature enough.I hate sharing stories with her.She said to other ppl that she understands me because she is my sister but she's not.She never wnts to lend her ears to me and listen every stories that i want to tell.So,im just keeping all those moments by myself.Im bearing all those sadness,happiness,bitter sweet .Please i have nobody to share.im lonely.Im alone,and ssometimes i found the cats and trying to talk with it but how cats understand people?I need somebody to react like-''dont worry,im always support you,sweet girl'' and give me a hug so that i can release all the harms with a wink of eyes.But who'r going to do so?No one's.It's useless to share the pain to the people who's going to say 'calm down' at lasts.I dont need people to advise me to be calm down.I dont even need that.All i want is suppport.Im try to find ppl who ;r going to be my listener,but i cant find.No one's!

last words :Forever Alone :)