Bad Day

Hi :>

  Today im gonna post about my feelings.Everythings that happened today had pushed me down.Im tired of getting pushed as im rising up and struggle to be a better person.Im trying to lower my ego,and try to changed but every problems are being like barriers to me . Huh it's all my fault , how excited i am -posted my website in twitter . I thought that he'll not read it but unfortunately ''blerghh'' .

   
  He read everythings that i'd wrote in blog.Am i being born to hurt others or everybody is like ruining my life ? I need a freedom . My heart belong to anyone indeed .Im just messing up other people's life with my liars.I never love anybody and i dont care if somebody calls me bad ,because i know it's all my life .I know from deep inside i have no love ,im just have ego ,liars ,selfish etc.They should'nt believe me they should leave me alone.

   Im sorry i just wanna explain to you but i cant ,because you just put many hopes to me .And the worst part is,i dont wanna hurt others once again.I dont care if your friend said that he's ok if you with me and he'll be fine.You know what ? I dont trust every words that comes from his mouth ,it's just a liar i know.You know,it's hard for me to make a right decision.Oh , it's okey you never think what had happened to me and what's on your mind is only the decision.You force me and i just have to say ''wait'' in case i dont know what im going to do after.


    You listen to me,how about if i accept you,and your friend is hurted.Do you glad to say''oh you jest ignore him,he doesnt have any feeling towards you anymore''.I dont believe you just trust this words.Do you blinded by something?can you see all those words are just a liar ? Nope i think you cant see it.Okay just in case,im telling you the truth ,maybe you will hurt on the same way .Gosh what should i do ? I need to take care many people heart ,i dont wanna hurt them once again.Understands me please .Im begging you.

   Am i wrong to say my own feelings ?am i wrong to make my own decision? Why im always said ''poor him'' ''poor him''.Im just tired to sacrifice my feelings with the words poor.Now it's my time to sacrifice those poors to my feelings.And i want to feel a freedom .Justice.If today im hurting you ,im sorry .Im doing all this because i dont want you to hurt later .Please i know myself ,im not good as other people and you think.Please dont make me feel guilty .

   I dont want you to unkeep in touch with him because of me .Please i will dissapear from your life and also him.I will not comeback,even if i want to,i will not find the way .I promise .I will never come back.I never allowed you both to see my face ,and i will pray that someday you will forget me .

    
     Im tired.Fight and then being together fight and then being together it's all make me crazy .I deserve to be happy,perhaps this will hurt you but trust me it will benefit you too.


Sincerely ,

S.N.A